Family and Friends

Family...that seems to be an easy one in our lives right now, but hasn't always been. After having a son, the focus seems to be more on family. And not just immediate, like Noah, Brian and me, but also grandparent's, siblings, in-laws, they all seem to have a regular part in our day to day. Especially while we have Grandma and Nana watching Noah regularly and Sophia being an important regular too in Noah's life. We are very lucky to have this close-knit family in our lives, especially right now.

Friends...this one seems to be a little bit more tricky for me in this time in my life... why is that? Friends are a bit like family, but for some reason not as regular or as close. Perhaps because we have more choice with when and who to spend time with and perhaps it might feel obligatory like family, but it seems like at that point, it makes me wonder, why am I forcing it? And then I back-off. When a friend says or exudes a feeling that seems to repel me, I repel and I back-off. I search or spend more of my time with those that are easier to be around and easier to share my feelings, thoughts, and insecurities with.

I tend to gravitate towards people that seem genuinely loving and warm toward me and therefore I tend to create this same reciprocal feeling. Those that seem to share the same core values and topics of interest as I do at a particular time in my life. This, of course, changes, so how does one seem to have a long lasting friendship that withstands what seems like what a family type person can endure?

Do friendships go sour? Can one really choose their friends and not their family? I truly believe that at times it's a reflection of how I'm feeling about myself, but then again, that is definitely an egotistical view. There are things that I see in other people that I either like or dislike in myself and perhaps that is what attracts and repels me to or away from them. It is an interesting topic and one that I still don't feel like I've mastered by any means. As my friends come in and out of my life and how I feel disconnected to some and very connected to others one thing that I feel like I know is that all people are loving and care and down to the core, we all want and need the same things. We all want to be connected, understood, loved, nurtured, respected, for exactly who we are. We all manifest all these things for each other in different ways and they don't always match the ways each individual would personally do it themselves...such is life and relationships. Exuding love and being able to receive it is what counts...not some of the other factors that I've immaturishly (is that even a word?) have encountered and directly experienced myself.

I do want to say that both family and friends have something in common---they are precious for the love that they do exude and I am grateful to have the experiences of sharing these relationships with some of the amazing friends and family that I have encountered so far in my life.

With life constantly changing, I hope to reflect on this topic again and determine where I stand or how things have changed, but only time will tell.

"I will be content with what and whom I am, and wish not change". I am courage and truth. I am loving, vulnerable, caring, and I have duties which dominate my time in this life and I will fulfill those duties and live with these characteristics or fail to be content and truly be whom I am.

Yoga

So, now after about a year of coming to see Pam at Ruta, I can't smile enough. I'm here now, just finished a session, listening to Spoon and having my tea-- feeling thankful for being able to move and stretch the way that I was able to this morning. Each day is different as far as what my body can do, but I'll take it as it comes. Taking care of what Vedanta calls "our equipment" is important to me to be able to experience the world and life in a healthy manner.

I am thankful and feel humbled.

I am trained to pass along this great form to children, so I hope to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity soon.

Yoga is invigoration in relaxation. Freedom in routine. Confidence through self control. Energy within and energy without. ~Ymber Delecto