There's a child growing inside me. Yes, I'm pregnant. This is such a learning process...being pregnant. I've been through it once, but the experiences are different for different reasons. It's a different child, yes, but it is also another time in my life as well with different external and internal influences. Overall, I will say that physically it's not an easy task. And emotionally it is challenging mostly due to the hormonal fluctuations that I'm encountering (at least in this point in time) and that I'm having to keep present to remember that I am sane and this is part of the process.
As I see people around me having children and adding to the life force of energy around us, it truly reminds me how amazing this whole process is and allows me to step away from the everyday "woes" and "challenges" that I am facing right now...the fatigue, nausea, vomiting, heartburn, etc, etc.
Just like what has held me and will continue to hold me captive sometimes in my life, fear has definitely reared its head. The fears that encapsulated me during my first pregnancy looms over me and continues to flash in front of me, but I have to keep reminding myself to carry on in the present and live the moment and see how things work themselves out. Not everything will carry over from past experience. I get tripped up in that.
I realize that what I do see now is how the days progress, and I'm not so super concerned with what will happen next, but what is happening now. The first time around it was a learning process, and this time around it's another experience, so a bit different. Birth and life occurs DAILY in every capacity, and it's just so amazing what it really is and how for I sometimes have to stop and reflect, otherwise it's like I take it for granted sometimes...WOW...
Mid-October our life will be consumed with caring for another little being and introduce him/her to the wonders of our world. May she/he see the wonders with light and little fear.
Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch. -- E.B. White, Charlotte's Web
